Blessed Being

One year!!

2009-09-27T12:32:00.000-07:00

Photos from his birthday and his party. Thank you to everyone who sent gifts and cards from afar. The books are added to his nightly book selection, the money has been added to his savings and the cards kept in his memory box.

For the ones who couldnt make his bday, we missed you and would have loved to share the day with everyone.

11 Months

2009-09-04T07:07:00.000-07:00

Kai now weighs 9.2kgs and has grown 1.5cm's
He now has 3 teeth, 2 on the top and one on the bottom
He dances to music, bouncing his body up and down
He is NEVER quiet and has learnt how to moan back at me
He wags his finger at me if I tell him he is being naughty
He picks his own bedtime story and has preferences for fav books

We are busy preparing for his 1st birthday party and his cake smash. Can you believe it is almost a YEAR!!

Second Lot

2009-09-04T06:45:00.000-07:00

This and That

2009-09-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

So be prepared for a major influx of cellphone photos. Photos not previously seen from the last year. Have fun!!

Overflow in 10mth old Pictures

2009-07-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

So monster is 10 months old!! can you believe it, where has the time gone, he is suddenly turning into a toddler and no longer a baby, makes me miss my baby, but I am loving the little boy stage and he is SUCH a little boy, even if he doesnt like getting dirty yet.

He weighs just under 9kg and is 74cm tall, so still a little wee but he is currently measuring on the 50% and should start increasing that now that he has settled and the reflux has gone.
he walks 4/5 steps confidently before plopping over he still does not have complete confidence in it so for now he does it in his camping cot.
he has 2 top teeth and 2 bottom teeth busy pushing through
he has the PRETTIEST blue eyes :D see the picture above
he is starting to give kissies, but still blushes everytime you ask him for one, he is terribly shy
after a good couple of nights losing my mind, I am starting to teach him baby sign language to help with his frustration at not being hable to communicate, his vocab is growing quickly, but for some reason its just simply not enough for him.
he prefers the blue bath boat over the yellow one
he kicks him chubby legs in the bath and then lays back lounging in the water
he HATES having his hair washed and dried
he loves being read to, which I do every night at bed time and will now hand you a book and lie back in your arms during the day when he wants you to read, assume the position type of thing
he loves singing, thankfully because I do it alot, anything with music in it will grab his attention
he LOVES cee bee bees :)
mickey mouse is still his favourite character
he will take a phone, hold it to his ear and say hello, then tata and put it down
He has found his appetite and will now happily eat, pretty much anything you put in front of him
he loves the cats and will put his hand down and rub his fingers together and call them
he will stroke them gently
he is fascinated by the birds and will put a hand out and go ah ah ah ah ah ah wanting them to come to him, but so far its not being chanced.
he sleeps LATE and goes to bed early, the boy loves his sleep
he loves being tickled and giggles insanely
he now plays peek a boo... he holds something in front of his face then pulls it down and giggles he will play it with you too
he wants to be chased when crawling, he'll stop, sit look back at you then giggle and turn and crawl away quickly
and he now calls mama ALOT :D

Just a Few..

2009-07-10T00:18:00.001-07:00

..From when dad/Poppa left.

Day at the beach!

2009-07-09T16:11:00.000-07:00

So we took Kai out to the beach, it has been a little too chilly to do it before now, so off we went. I took him down to the water, and put his feet in the waves, soaking myself in the process. He wasn't terribly sure of things and clung tightly to me. Towards the end he seemed to realize it was water and wanted down, thats when THE wave arrived and soaked me.. wet jeans are not fun!

We then headed up to the grass, for mama to dry out and for Kai to work on his crawling/walking skills. The little monster managed to crawl all around the blanket but refusing to go onto the prickly grass.

So I managed to get some photos of him he is busy getting impossible to photograph :D

He was watching some kids play here.

Want to stand, but not quite confident enough.

Blowing spit bubbles.

Check the naughty face :D

Serious look

Giggling at nana

Check out my blue eyes :D

Travelling in style

The view :)

Was an amazing day

The stats

He is slowly getting passed 8.5kgs/18.7lbs

He is currently wearing 12-18 month clothes and some are too short already.

He is starting to get a proper baby belly, rounding out nicely.

He can walk about 4/5 steps by himself until he plops over

He has quite a few new words. Tata, blue, kai and no

When he does something naughty and you moan with him, he looks at you goes "Kai NO!" and then giggles.

He is finally starting to eat better.

He now waves at everyone, hello and goodbye.

Back..

2009-06-18T04:49:00.000-07:00

From the land of photos and proofing, sorry I've been gone sooooo long, but things have been a little crazy.

So lets start off with the photos :)

Firstly, April, check out my skinny baby, lol I am trying my damndest to fatten him up, but looks like he is going to be tall and thin!!

May, I had to leave my baby in Pretoria with Nana, while I headed back to Cape Town for work. THIS is the face I left behind.

3 Generation :D

And then a few of my Grandfather.

Then onto June!! Look how big he has gotten.

He is now a real little boy, he plays hard and is mischievous and KNOWS when he is doing something he shouldn't.

He has big blue eyes and blondish/reddish curls which flicks up in the front.

He hates having his hair dried, or getting dressed and will scream blue murder.

He has a temper, and gets angry quickly when things do not go his way, hehe full blown kicking and screaming and stomping of feet.

He does not like vegetables or meat, don't ask me what he is going to eat as he gets older. *prays its a phase*

He is busy busy busy, always on the go and is down to one nap a day.

Our newest word is Du.... meaning duck.. or anything else he wants.

It LOOKS like we might have teeth soon, but nothing definite yet.

He took his first steps the night before mothers day, and since then he shows no interest. In true Kai Fashion he races ahead till he has done it once and then takes his time repeating it again. I am convinced he CAN walk, just chooses not to at this stage.

He is intelligent, scaringly so, which should not come as a big surprise considering his parents but for some reason it DID shock me.

Well thats it for now, Ill update with additional gems as I remember them.

Crawling and standing

2009-05-02T04:56:00.000-07:00

Crawling

7 months old!!

2009-04-25T14:22:00.000-07:00

So my "baby" is now 7 months old, I cannot believe how fast the time is flying, soon I'll be planning a first birthday. Part of me wants to keep him my baby, and the other part is just loving the stages he hits.

Anyways, here are the pictures

Then this is what happens when he gets bored, he chews on my very expensive gear.

THEN, Poppa decided to come see what we were doing, check his face light up.

Spotted him...

oh my oh my oh my..

then OF COURSE when I tried to get a smiling photo.. NADA!!

Black is the new IN thing! :D

A beanie that was knitted for mommy's newborn photos

And lastly, my new fav photo of Kai, check out his stunning blue eyes!!

And of course , chewing on mommy's props!

This months milestones...

He has finally started to EAT, before he would just nibble, he now EATS
He sings along to everything, and LOVES music
He will happily eat by himself, and happily shovel food into his mouth while trying to hold a conversation with everyone
He now tries to get your attention by making a noise, then when you look/talk to him he starts jabbering away happily
He wants your attention, he wants to play and interact, he is not the type of child that you can ignore at all
He LOVES children
He now stand up very steadily, and will stand only holding on with one hand and he is getting better at letting go and standing by himself
He also does this leap thing, where he just throws himself at you, knowing you'll catch him, complete trust
He loves the birds and the cats, even though he has a slight allergy to pookies hair he will sit and watch them, Baby has taken a liking to him and the two of them will "chat" she'll meow at him and he will jabber back
He now says Mama, Ta, Hello, Hi and bye, there are a few others coming out, but not quite clearly
He also now gets very curious about you leaving when you say bye, he'll stretch his head out to see where youve gone

He is just under 8.5kgs now and getting REALLY tall and his hair is FINALLY starting to grow :D

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T04:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter Everyone, may your day be filled with blessings!!!

And then some pics from today!!

Easter fun!

And then I could not resist this sleep smiley face!!

Has he not just grown SOOO much, He looks like such a little boy here!

And our weight today, is 8.1kgs

Pool Day

2009-04-04T22:44:00.000-07:00

I bought a 2m pool during one of the extreme hot spells to put on the balcony, and as soon as I bought it, it turned cold. Believe it or not, in April which is supposed to be cold, I set it up. The heat the last few days have been a sticky type of heat, totally out of character for April. I also bought Kai this plane mushroom floating thing.

He had an absolute blast, his feet could just just touch the bottom of the pool and he zipped and pushed himself around the entire pool, giggling and screeching.

His 6 month check up put him at 7.8kgs and 72cm tall.

New things.
He has moved onto finger foods as he does not want to be fed
He is busy as all hell, never still
He loves peoples faces and will smile at everyone
If he falls asleep with Poppa he holds onto his beard
He now crawls properly and stands
He pulls himself up onto everything
He managed to stand unsupported for about 3 seconds and stood up by himself
He is very attached to me at the moment
He LOVES the water
Hates to have his face wiped and LOVES making a mess
He LOVES to sing, and will sing to himself at every opputunity
He loves to be sung and hummed to, and his night time lullabye is silent night hummed. (yes I know but it was 3 o clock in the morning when I started and silent night was the only thing I could remember)
He STILL has no teeth

and he is loved and adored by everyone :)

Proper PJ's and smiles

2009-03-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

So this morning, after getting Kai up I decided to get some new pictures of him in his new PROPER pj's. He looks like SUCH a little boy all of a sudden, but still my gorgeous little baby.

Then we lost the clothes and kept snapping while we played.

PJ's

And aren't these nappies the cutest? he has now progressed to pullups

Sticky Baby

2009-03-15T13:19:00.000-07:00

Sticky baby's need baths, so after Kai's breakfast, which had him covered in prunes. This was the result...

Moody Scotsman

2009-02-27T02:24:00.001-08:00

First Attempts at Crawling

2009-02-27T02:23:00.001-08:00

He of course has it almost perfected now. Its just SO cute to see

5 Months

2009-02-24T03:13:00.000-08:00

Can you believe my baby boy is 5 months old already?? Soon he will be 6 months and then it is all downhill to 1 year old, a very scary thought.

He is starting to lose his "baby fat" and is slimming down alot as he is getting taller, he is now 70cm tall and weighs just under 8kg's

He now gets onto his knees and shuffles forward, has not quite got the crawling down, but that doesnt stop him from moving forward. He sat for the first time by himself yesterday, got a shocked expression on his face and then promptly fell over again. :)

He puts his foot down while he is on his hands and knees, looks as if he is trying to stand already, he is definately in a hurry to get up and go.

He is a busy baby, high energy and constant go go go go while he is awake, no down time at all. Also a child of extremes, he is either busy or asleep, no inbetween stages.

He is also taking after me when it comes to his sensitivity, he will start crying when someone is hurt, even if the person is not showing any outward signs of hurting. So extremely sensitive to others emotions.

Please excuse the haze on the photos, I was editting with Kai on my lap, which is nigh on impossible :)

Toy of the week

2009-02-11T00:12:00.001-08:00

Kai's Fav toy of the week .. Courtesy of mommy and Tiny Love

Scarlet Fever

2009-02-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

So Kai somehow managed to get an illness that is very rarely seen in under 1 year olds. Yup, Scarlet Fever!

I had him at the paed yesterday and he has meds to take for the next 10 days. He did a checkup on size etc while we were there.

He weights 7.55 kgs is 70!! cm long and according to his chart he is right at the top for height and on the 95% for weight. So it looks like he is going to be tall but not overly heavy.

A few pics from today.

grotty and spotty

not even pookie is cheering me up

finally passed out :)

First Swim

2009-02-07T22:05:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was a scorcher of 39 degrees and to help kai cope with the heat, we set up the baby pool put him in his cossie and decided to let him "swim"

Thanks to Aunty Cat for the pool and thanks to Aunty Gillian for the cossie:)

Here the pictures from the swim.
I might be just a tad biased, but I think he is Gorge!!!

Then the kicking came..

And my Ducky.....

Then the Sitting...

LOOK ma... no hands

Still a little wobbly, but he is sitting.

Then this is him trying to crawl out of the pool...

And one last smile

Few Random Pictures

2009-02-03T05:32:00.000-08:00

4 Months!

2009-01-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

Kai was 4 months old yesterday, I keep repeating myself but CAN you believe it?? Where has my baby gone to.

New things...

He now giggles, full blown adorable giggling.
He wants to stand the whole time and is getting stronger quickly.

I have not weighed him yet, so will update those when I have it.

I bought him an activity center, and he loves it, he can stand supported and play with all the gadgets :)

First Flower

2009-01-20T06:13:00.000-08:00

So today I got the first flower from the man in my life. Just look how sweet this is. Nana had him and he has developed a fascination with flowers, he leaned down and grabbed it, picking it. Then when Nana came to show me, there he was, flower clutched in hand smiling at me. Melt away.

Then it was lunch and I could not help snapping a few, Poppa got one of me feeding Kai aswell. Kai's new Fav is pear.

Bumbo Seats

2009-01-15T12:03:00.000-08:00

Bumbo seats are wonderful, Kai can now sit and keep himself occupied without one of us having to hold him, great to have until he is finally sitting without support, check out how impressed he is with himself.

Then a few just because he is gorge

Aren't these toes just the cutest!!!

Then the last one is of him and Nana, can you FEEL the love?

Rolling.. Rolling.. Rolling

2009-01-14T21:02:00.000-08:00

Kai's newest trick, he can now roll from his tummy to his back and from his back to his tummy, which opens a whole new world up to him. Means he can now play with toys and roll around to get them and then he can shuffle forward to grab the toy he wants.

He looks so big in these photos.

He does not actually suck his thumb, he just likes chewing on it.

Then a food photo. A very messy baby.

Big Bath

2009-01-14T20:57:00.000-08:00

So Kai does not fit into the baby bath anymore and so we offcially moved him to the big bath. Hell on mommy's back but he loves it.

15 weeks Photos

2009-01-10T08:06:00.000-08:00

Look how big he is getting!! He is now sitting very pretty.

Kai 15 weeks Update

2009-01-08T06:03:00.000-08:00

Yes I know, I have been very bad about updating, blame it on a tired son, or a niggly one or just plain running out of time.

BUT the update!

He now weighs 7.05 kgs or 15lbs for those who work in pounds, he is 65cm tall and his head is 41.5cm big
He will now happily pull himself up with your help and stand on wobbly legs just happily grinning at everyone.
He is eating quite well, not alot only about 2 teaspoons of food twice a day

He LOVES toys, his current favourite is his Dr Seuss, the top tab has crinkly paper, the second one squeaks and the third has a rattle in it, he LOVES it!!

He now puts everything into his mouth, including trying to fit his whole fist in it, I can see him years from now, a rowdy teenager showing off to his mates that he can fit his entire fist into his mouth.
He has discovered a few things since his last update and those are -

We have hair, he loves tugging on it and listening to the squeals of pain
That Nana's ears make GREAT toys
The birds, he has loved feathers of all forms since he could focus on things and now this has taken a whole new aspect with the discovery of LIVE MOVING feathers, when Indi sits with me he will gurgle and laugh and wave the hands excitedly. Then throw in TWO african greys and he sits and stares from the one to the other trying to figure out how there can be TWO that look the same.
That we eat, he now follows every movement we make with food from the plate to our mouth then stares at us expecting us to do something about it.

His reflux also seems to be under control with him officially being off the medication, which is just awesome.
His teeth are playing hide and go seek, coming out then going back in but they are really itchy, I think one of the reasons for his hand in his mouth constantly.

So for photos, I really need to take new ones but I am sharing one of my all time favourites, the one that is on my desktop.

Family Photos

2009-01-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

Pictures of Kai with his Opi

Pictures of Kai with his Omi

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T22:51:00.000-08:00

May the year ahead be filled with every blessing you can possibly imagine, Have a good one.

First meal

2008-12-30T03:04:00.000-08:00

So Kai hasnt been coming full from his bottles anymore and after a week worth of hourly feeds I spoke to the paed and he suggested starting him on solids, porridge 1/2 a day for a month and seeing how it goes, taking my cues from kai, if he wasnt interested in the food not pushing it.

So this is what we ended up with..

3 months Old

2008-12-26T05:17:00.000-08:00

Kai is now 3 months old and his weigh in, he now weighs 6.65kgs, slowing down on the weight gain but still gaining.

He is just getting more amazing every day.

Here he is with Opi watching fishing on tv

Something small from Kai

2008-12-26T05:05:00.000-08:00

Merry Xmas!!

2008-12-26T04:51:00.000-08:00

The family on Christmas day

The stash, the huge truck comes from his Omi and Opi, and although it was a little overwhelming, I am sure he will love it!!

Thank you to Henry, Gemma, Marieta and Family

Then something from my Godparents in Scotland

Thank you to everyone who spoiled him

Random Shots

Then photos of my baby boy

And then my first mommy pressie :)

And the only thing missing this year, was Poppa, we missed you!! hugs and love!!

12 weeks!!

2008-12-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

Kai turned 12 weeks old on Wednesday and turns 3 months old on the 24th, 1 day before his First Christmas, I sit and look at him and cant believe that a year ago this time, he was almost conceived and that from that point onward my entire life would change.

He is a complete miracle and every day I feel blessed that he picked me as his mom, looking into his eyes is to know love.

He is very attached to me and when someone else has him he will crane his head around to find me.
He is a very sensitive baby and cries if he thinks someone is getting hurt or is fighting.
He is sitting much and has a few moments of sitting unsupported before toppling over.
He is babbling almost non-stop and loves it when people talk to him.
He is learning how to blow raspberries but its still coming out alot like "bllllllllll" he has not quite got it right yet.
He is Pooh and Tigger mad and will happily talk to his book.
He also loves the tv and will happily stare at it, same with the pc if I am sitting working on it, he will sit on my lap and look at whats going on.

All round he is a happy baby and a happy baby makes for a happy mommy.

Look!!!

2008-12-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

What I can do!!
I start like this...

then i roll myself to this..

then i spend some time chewing my hand..

then i try to wriggle to escape

but my MAJOR achievement

11 weeks

2008-12-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

So Kai went for his injections today, his 6 weeks shots and the rotarix and prevenaar. Shame man he only but cried, :( he is thankfully asleep now.

He weighs 6.5kgs is 63cms long and his head is 40cm's
It looks like he is starting to teethe, can feel one or two points on his lower gums, and been mis since yesterday.
Here are a few of my baby who is growing too quickly.

Also is included a pic of the pressie from Omi and Opi :)

t

Photos

2008-12-04T02:46:00.000-08:00

So I didn't update for his 2 month checkup.

Kai now weighs 6.2kgs, is 64cm tall/long and his head circ is 40cm. He is getting big.

Milestones for his 2 month update.
He now smiles most of the time and is working on his laugh, but it comes out more like a cough at the moment.
He is starting to roll, can roll from his back to his side and occasionally to his tummy and he can roll from his tummy to his back.
He is very alert and loves people, he looks at everyone and most of the time will strike up a conversation with anyone.
He isn't shy at all and will let anyone pick him up.
He loves feathers and crystals and manages to find them anywhere in the room and will stare intently at them.
He is still sleeping through and is set in his routine, bath, milk and bedtime from 8-9pm and then he sleeps through until 7am.
He loves to cuddle and also likes sleeping with something he can cuddle, so we have cuddle blankies for him throughout the house.
He is fascinated by the birds but Baby scares him and he'll start crying and to add insult to injury she has decided he is her baby and guards him while he sleeps.

I am sure there is more happening but thats all I can remember RIGHT now.

My new Toy!!

2008-12-03T05:09:00.000-08:00

:D now I can take photos, in STYLE!

The men in my life

2008-12-03T01:13:00.000-08:00

Just my brother is missing, NEED to get him :)

Missing??

2008-11-27T00:45:00.000-08:00

So I havent been online much so I thought I would show you what I have been busy with. Here are a few pictures from the two photoshoots I did.

First is Tamzin. She is about 10 months old and a real sweetiepie.

Then there is Gaynor, Jacques and their twin boys Kyle and Tyler.

2 months old!!

2008-11-27T00:39:00.000-08:00

Can you believe how big he is getting already? A few pics of my beautiful baby boy. A few of me too, please excuse how I look in them I haven't been well.

Nana pressies

2008-11-22T02:07:00.000-08:00

Check out Nana's taste in clothing for Kai. Cute isnt it ? The Giraffes spots have a texture to them, so he has been spending time feeling the spots.

Special Moments

2008-11-21T11:21:00.000-08:00

Special moments and a dozen or so other pics ;) Are the shoes not just the cutest thing, utterly silly, but cute :) Kai has JUST discovered his tongue is good for more than just drinking his milk. See if you can spot it in todays pics.

8 weeks!!

2008-11-19T01:13:00.000-08:00

Can you believe it? Kai is 8 weeks old today and growing like a weed. He is doing exceptionally well. I will get him weighed when we go for his next jabs.

He now sleeps through most nights from about 9/10ish till 7.45 hehe loves his sleep just like me. i woke up this morning to him talking to himself and looking around my room, and i continued napping for about another hour before he decided he was ready to be changed and fed.

The reflux seems under control, we have good days and bad days but most are good thankfully.

He is "talking" a mile a minute and smiles and "laughs" which is more of a cough really and is a really friendly baby

Early Morning

2008-11-16T02:03:00.000-08:00

This was taken early this morning, between medicine for his reflux and getting his bottle. Isn't he beautiful? :)

Almost Xmas

2008-11-12T05:23:00.000-08:00

So its almost time for xmas, so I got some pics of Kai to get his xmas cards ready for printing and this is how the photos turned out. I must say we had a blast doing this, trying to get smiles (which didn't work) in the silliest of ways.

And this is what happens when he has had enough of me and the camera .... :D

Smiles...

2008-11-10T07:28:00.000-08:00

One of the best feelings in the world, having your baby smile at you. It seriously makes everything worthwhile. I've been battling for a while to get it photographed but today FINALLY we got it right. So here are the smiling and laughing pics. He has the motions of the laughter right just not the sounds, it sounds more like a gasp that turns into a cough but he is getting there. :)

This was taken during a "conversation" with Nana.

and this is hard work

Few Pictures and an update

2008-11-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

So had Kai back at the paed on friday. His cold has turned into middle ear infection, and doc put him on AB's for 5 days so kick it. He was really mis and only started getting back to "normal" today. Shame having a sick baby is not fun and I felt so sorry for him, you could SEE his ear was sore and he has been on some panado for the pain too. Today though he is back to his normal sunshine personality and smiling at everyone.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-05T22:18:00.000-08:00

ok so I am a little late ;)

PND

2008-11-05T07:59:00.000-08:00

So my update today, I went to Dr O for my 6 week check up and I am fine, with the exception if PND (post natal depression). Rather severely, I have been given med's (the famous or rather infamous prozac) and if things have not improved within 10 days then I get a friendly referral to a shrink, fun stuff. So lets hope and pray the meds work.

Ive included some FAQ about PND for "easy" reading.

How common is PND?

PND is common.

It occurs in 10 to 15 per cent or one in seven to ten mothers.
When does PND occur?

PND usually develops within the first month following childbirth.

It may develop out of severe 'baby blues'.

Episodes of depression may be more common in mothers for many months after having a baby. Where PND stops and ordinary depression begins is unclear.
What are the symptoms of PND?
The symptoms are very similar to those seen in 'ordinary' depression.

Feeling 'low', 'miserable' and tearful for no apparent reason. These feelings persist for most of the time, though they may be worse at certain times of day, particularly the morning.

Being unable to enjoy yourself. This may be particularly prominent in new mothers who feel that they are not enjoying having a new baby in the way they expected to.

Irritability is common. This may be with other children, the new baby and particularly with the partner.

Sleep disturbance is part of looking after a new baby. However in PND there may be additional problems of finding it hard to go to sleep even though you are tired, or waking early in the morning.

Given that looking after a young baby means having less sleep than usual, it is no surprise that mothers often feel they have no energy. This can be even worse in mothers with PND.

Appetite is sometimes affected, with mothers not being interested in food. This can be a particular problem since new mothers need all the energy they can get to look after their babies.

Anxiety frequently occurs in PND. This may take many forms. It may be feeling tense and 'on edge' all the time. Normal concerns and anxieties that any mother feels for a new baby may become overwhelming. In addition mothers may experience 'panic attacks' which are episodes lasting several minutes when they feel as if something catastrophic is about to happen - such as collapsing, having a heart attack or stroke. These are extremely frightening but they get better on their own.

Depression is often accompanied by feelings of being 'worthless' and 'hopeless'. These feelings are common in PND. All mothers are faced with new and sometimes difficult problems with a new baby. However, mothers with PND feel all the more 'not able to cope' and unable to see a way through their difficulties.

When people are depressed, they sometimes feel that there is no way out of their problems and that they, and their family, would be better off dead. Thoughts of suicide are therefore not uncommon. If you feel this way, it is important that you talk to somebody about how you feel, since there are ways out of your difficulties other than suicide. You should also be aware that your child would be at increased risk of developing mental health problems of their own if you do commit suicide. If you fear that somebody you know feels suicidal, take this seriously and try to talk to them about it. Talking about suicide does NOT increase the risk of the person committing suicide. Strongly advise the person to visit their doctor.
What causes PND?

The simple answer is we don't know. It is likely that a number of factors are involved. The illness may arise partly because of the hormonal changes following childbirth. The stress of looking after a young baby and having your sleep disrupted may also help to bring on the illness in susceptible people.

6 weeks update

2008-11-05T07:56:00.000-08:00

So had Kai at the paed today. He has a slight cold, viral and luckily doesnt require ab's, just nose drops.

He weighs 5.6kgs and is 61cm's long and otherwise healthy.

He is starting to gurgle and chat and is discovering he can make different noises which is cute to watch.

First "storyboard"

2008-11-04T06:01:00.000-08:00

Just fooling around in photoshop, trying to get the hang of creating story boards.

Emails

2008-11-04T04:54:00.000-08:00

So I received email from the ladies at BirthWorks where I hired my birthing bath from and along with congratulations they included the nicest poem. So I thought I'd drop them a plug and include the poem.

WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD

You pick them up, and then you wonder why you did,
You lie them down and then you wonder if they’re fed,
You try not to whisper cos its good that they get used to noise,
except when that door slams or your eldest drops his noisy toys

They say you should rest whenever the baby is sleeping too.
that’s all very well, there just seem lots of things to do.
You try not to do them and instead lie with eyes open wide,
But just as they’re closing you hear him stirring at your side.

It’s going to get easier, well at least that’s what the others say
You feel that it better, it certainly can’t go on THIS way.
some say six weeks, others nod and say twelve
it better be sometime soon you’re not sure how much deeper you can delve

But then at that crucial low time, you suddenly find
That the sweetest, gummiest grin leaves all those thoughts behind
And you’re suddenly heads over heels and in love with your child
The same babe that a minute before, was driving you wild.

And this is the pattern for those very first weeks
For those earliest days that sometime seem so bleak.
And it may make you wonder where you went, where you’ve gone,
But the birth of a mother can sometimes take long.

It takes longer than birthing a child into this world
It takes long as each new mother petal uncurls It takes longer,
and stronger is what you become as each one of those petals is slowly undone.

So welcome to motherhood with all of her fears,
and all her frustrations and unspoken tears,
welcome to life with young of your own
and may they draw strength from the womb where they’ve grown.

Very True, every word really.

2008-11-03T07:20:00.000-08:00

what...?

2008-11-03T01:28:00.000-08:00

Im reposting this after yesterdays seemed to go missing. Think I forgot to press the submit button (blush) thats what happens when you are tired.

I was saying something about what lovely weather we are having in Cape Town, a little cool but beautiful. We ended up parked at the beach yesterday just watching the ocean. It was windy so the ocean had these massive white waves.

You only realize while sitting watching the beauty of the water how utterly blessed you are to be living in such a wonderful place. Also how lucky I am to be able to raise my son in such a beautiful place.

I cannot wait for him to be able to run on the sand and into the water, what a wonderful picture that will make.

Colour Test results

2008-11-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

So I took the colour test, which I found on Jane's blog and here are my results.

Leandre took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offe..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Your Existing Situation
The situation is difficult and she is trying to persist in her objectives against resistance. Finds it necessary to conceal her intentions as an added precaution, in order to disarm the opposition

Your Stress Sources
Unfulfilled hopes have led to uncertainty and apprehension. Needs to feel secure and to avoid any further disappointment, and fears being passed over or losing standings and prestige. Doubts that things will be any better in the future and this negative attitude leads her to make exaggerated demands and to refuse to make reasonable compromises.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.
Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Sensitive and sentimental, but conceals this from all except those very close to him.
Feels trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity providing no turmoil or emotional agitation is involved.

Your Desired Objective
Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offering quiet contentment and a sense of belonging.

Your Actual Problem
Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of her hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. She is trying to escape from this into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, protecting her from dissatisfaction and lack of appreciation

Day 1...

2008-11-01T13:43:00.000-07:00

Of 30 posts in 30 days and yes I still think I've lost my mind but here goes. The first post.

Have you noticed opening a new post and staring at the blank screen is alot like starting a new painting, you stare at the canvas for hours hoping it will reveal all it's secrets to you enabling you to create that one piece that you think is amazing. It never does though, you are still left at the end of the time and after the painting is complete, sitting thinking to yourself that it could have been better. That it SHOULD have been better. Maybe the picture was just different in your mind. In my case that is the situation most of the time, when I do art I am always left wanting, just simply wanting my work to be different and better than it actually is. Thats the moment I crack myself down the hardest and decide that under no circumstances can I call myself an artist.

Oddly enough, photography is the one creative outlet I have that the picture I have in my head is usually the way the photograph turns out. So really for the first time in my life I can translate my "vision" (so to speak) into a format where people can see it. Where I can see it. Honestly, I think that is where my love (obsession) for photography stems from, the translation of a minds eye picture into the reality of everyday vision. How is that for sounding completely and utterly intelligent, or is that snobbish, I can never tell the difference.

Same goes for Kai, I look at him and realize that he is the complete and utter picture I had of having a child manifested into reality. He is exactly what I asked for. I should really have mentioned no reflux in my list, but that aside, every day I realize more and more how abosolutely perfect he is for me and my life. Manifestation truly at work.

Now one question to leave you with. Did my thinking make him real, or did his reality make me think?

Ok.. maybe it was two questions. :)

Difficult Days

2008-10-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

That pretty much summed up our day. After 9 hours with only 20/30 minutes dozing and a good couple of bottles later, Kai eventually fell asleep, leaving both Mommy and Nana tired and sore. Thank heavens growth spurts don't last forever.

Some more from today.

And finally a semi-good one of his eyes.

I've Lost...

2008-10-31T05:56:00.000-07:00

my mind and signed up for ....

.. So you will (hopefully) be hearing alot more from me. This is an effort on my part to not just post a bunch of photos of Kai, but actually getting into the habit of writing aswell. Considering my writing has been drastically neglected along with alot of my "hobbies" this is a lone effort to get that back on track. So you will probably be reading alot of rather pointless drivel from me in the next month, but wish me luck, 30 posts, 1 each day, lets hope I can do it.

I have also signed up for Wordless Wednesday, which consists of posting photograph/s on Wednesday without words with it, pictures that explain it all by just being there, which is a concept that I love. So it's time to get my blog up and running with more than just photographs (As much as I love just posting a bunch of them) and actually add some content into the blog.

Just Because

2008-10-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

I LOVE this photo, considering I can never get my mom to stand still for a picture. I was thrilled to get this.
And even though my mom doesn't realize it, she does not look her age and she is looking wonderful :)

5 weeks Update and Pics

2008-10-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

So Kai is 5 weeks old and suddenly starting to "wake" up, he is spending more time awake looking around gurgling. He is growing so quickly now. Today was the first day he didnt HATE his bath and has been spending a certain amount of time looking at some of his toys and listening.

He is still sleeping well, goes anything from 4-7 hours at night between feeds which is awesome. Drinking me out of house and home at a whopping 150mls per feed sometimes more if he is REALLY hungry.

He has had a growth spurt the last 2 days so todays weigh in was interesting.

He has grown 1cm longer in a week and has gained 310g so he weighs 5.36kgs now. He is officially in 3-6 month clothes as the 0-3 months clothes are too short, lol. They dont button at the bottom.

So here are some pics taken today, he is wearing a gift from Nana.

Time to Play

2008-10-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

So it's time for Kai to start "playing" with his toys and start to learn colours etc. Today was the first day we pulled out the play "gym" and gave him some time looking and playing. It was the CUTEST thing. First he just stared at everything then the lip started quivering, then the eyes got big and he waved his hands which bumped against one of the chime toys. His eyes got even bigger as he just stared at it and focused. Then he turned his head to look for one of us and then promptly went back to staring at the toys, waving his hands and kicking his feet wildly.

He spent about 10/15 minutes on it before deciding he had had enough. Nana then took his while I got a bottle ready, he drank a little bit and then dozed peacefully off to sleep. A good start.

Photos of gifts.

2008-10-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

Just to say thank you for all the pressies we (Kai) has received. Here are some pics of the pressies.
For Aunty Marieta.

And for Aunty Marie in Scotland.

And then one last pic to leave you with. Kai... smiling!

Daily Pics

2008-10-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

So there have been a few requests for daily pics, so I am going to TRY, please note the word TRY to take pics every day, when time allows it. Here are the 25th's and todays.

Sleeping on Nana's chest last night.

DEEEEEEEPPPP sleep ... hehe

What, third outfit for the day...

Naked time.. FREEDOM!!!

Today's sox....

And the 2nd outfit of the day.... we went out in this. NOTE: 3-6 months clothes, loose around the body, lengthwise it fits perfectly. My tall baby.. :)

Blues..

2008-10-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

Pulled out a blue backdrop, you can see how Kai watches it, he LOVES blue.

In the pram at the mall.

And then, the face of reflux. This is what Kai looks like once the reflux starts. He was actually still sleeping here and you can see the pain caused even while asleep.

Tummy time

2008-10-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

Morning change time. Kai then gets a massage and some tummy time

Please excuse the quality of pictures, they were taken with my cellphone.

Stripes and Dummies..

2008-10-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

Some taken this afternoon. Kai has decided he likes his dummy.

Being held by Nana

He has the most unsual eyes, I've been trying unsucessfully to get a photo of them. NO luck yet.

Check the yawn out!!

OOOOOOO.. 2 seconds later he cracked a smile, but I missed it.

Serious look.

2AM Smiles

2008-10-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

So Kai has a 1/2am feed that he is usually on time for every night. And even though it is such a weird time of the morning, the 10pm feed and the 6am feed is fine, waking at 2am is not only hard, but its the one feed that makes you tired.

The last few nights there is one thing that makes it completely worthwhile and those are the lazy, tired, sweet smiles that Kai gives you when you are finished feeding him. It is those smiles that tugs are your heart strings and makes me realize just HOW much I love him. He looks up at me and then his face lights up in this "I completely adore you" smile. I do know the smile is more for the "My tummy is full, my nappy is clean" reason more than baby love but as his Mommy I get to decide the reason for his smiles and it is because he adores me.

2am, even though it is tiring and I am always tired, is fast becoming my favourite time. It is that time where we are just together and completely happy...........

......... that is, till he starts crying because his tummy hurts. hehe

1 month old!!!

2008-10-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

So Kai has gone from a wee little 4.2 kg newborn to a whopping 5.1kgs, from 54cm's to 58cm's and his head from 34cm's to 38cm's. He is suddenly looking like a little boy and not a newborn anymore, it truly is amazing to see him grown.

We went to the paed today, the "bad" news, he has reflux. So we are changing formula to a AR formula and he is take losec once a day for it. Hopefully that sorts things out, amazingly after the first dose today he fell immediately asleep and slept for another 45 minutes so it did SOMETHING.

The good news, on the burn front, it has healed completely and the scabs are completely off.

and it looks great, even the doc was amazed today.
The other good news from the Paed, Kai has officially hit all his 6 weeks milestones, making him 2 weeks ahead, he is strong, healthy and all in all perfect. He is in the 90% percentile for health and growth and Doc was amazed to have kai watching and following him, which apparently only develops between 6-8 weeks.
So all in all things are going really well. He really is such an angel and a blessing !!!

from this... 40w

to this..4 minutes old

To this... 9 hours old

to this.. 3 days

1 week

2 weeks

3 weeks

to... 1 month old!!

Late Afternoon Light...

2008-10-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

..makes for some stunning photos.

My New Watermark

2008-10-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

My new watermark to add to my photographs to prevent online stealing. I will be playing around in the next few weeks with it, so it will probably change.

Look how..

2008-10-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

...... Quickly he is growing!!

3 days old................................

3 weeks old...........................

Is it not amazing how he changes before your eyes????

Bottle Propping and Yawns

2008-10-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

Yawning between naps.

DISCLAIMER.....!!!! He did not stay like that with the bottle, I started feeding him when I realized what he was doing with his hand and after laughing, I grabbed a camera took a few pics and then picked him up to finish feeding him. When he wants his bottle he will do anything, including holding it up himself.

Macro pics

2008-10-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

Some macro pictures from today.

Merged

2008-10-19T05:20:00.000-07:00

Just to let everyone know, I have merged my Photography and my Personal blog, so you will be seeing combination posts, some posts about Kai, Photography or some just about me.

Burn Update

2008-10-17T15:38:00.001-07:00

The wound care nurse came to have a look at Kai's leg today and the good news is the bandage can now officially stay off!! The entire burn seems to have healed with no issues, the skin is peeling similar to a sunburn when the top layer of skin comes off and is revealing pink healthy skin underneath. He might have some redness where the burn was for a few months but it does not seem to have left any scarring what so ever.

Honestly you could not have given me better news today. My baby is healing, I am still grinning like a cheshire cat. It is a wonderful day!!!

Photo shoot

2008-10-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

Some pics from todays shoot. It was funny, he peed on my dad then threw up on him. LOL, it was the funniest "shoot"

Mommy Rambling...

2008-10-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

I am completely amazed by how quickly Kai is changing, every day you can see how he is growing and changing. Right before your very eyes, he changes.

Today I noticed that his face is changing, while he still has this double chin, his face is losing that newborn roundness and is lengthening slightly. He suddenly looks like a little boy instead of just a newborn. It really is a shock to see how quickly he is growing, it makes me want to hold tight so I don't miss a second of this stage.

He is also alot more alert now. He looks around and stares at people and you can see how he processes the information and decide whether he "likes" the person or not. Also with new areas, he lifts his head and looks around and takes everything in.

The last two days he does the cutest thing, when you burp him over your should he rests his head against your cheek and just gives this happy sigh, like he is thrilled to have you there and close to him, it tugs at the heart strings.

3 Weeks!!

2008-10-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

My my, how time is flying!! I can't believe my little boy is three weeks old today. It's a little weird to be walking around in my pre-preggy clothes, feels like I was never pregnant. I had a look at my preggy shoot photos, mainly to assure myself I was actually pregnant, then I look at Kai and can't believe he is here and he is mine and how FAST he is growing and changing.

3 week details..

weight. just under 5kgs.
He now smiles when he hasn't been with me for a while and then either hears or sees me, his entire face lights up, it is the one most GREATEST feeling in the world. Honestly that smile officially take the top spot as the best feeling in my life.
He kicks like a maniac
He can now hold his head up and look around and can focus on people and watch them
He loves people and dislikes getting naked or having his nappy changed.
He is wearing some of his 3-6 months clothes (shock)
He is going to be TALL
He is learning how to move his facial muscles, so forms his mouth into a perfect O then wriggles his eyebrows.
His hair is falling out and coming in again in almost a ginger colour and he has blond/reddish eyebrows and eyelashes.

Here are pics from tonights bathtime. You can see the bandaged leg in the bath. His burn is healing beautifully and looks like it will heal perfectly without scarring. WOOHOOO!!!!

the pics!

Family get together

2008-10-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

So we went out with my Brother(Henry) and Sister in law(Gemma) and here are some pics from the day. Was the first time they held Kai. As you can see Kai was in NO mood to co-operate once Henry tried.

And the scary face was Henry fooling around. Kai was crying before he pulled that face.

Saturday pics

2008-10-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

:)

2008-10-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

Can anyone tell I am enjoying taking pictures of my baby bear? I am completely and utterly obsessed with him :)

So here are todays photos.

So Kai has a dirty nappy so I change him, redress him as he has been posseting over his babygrow. After the change he starts moaning, his I'm starved why havn't you fed me moan.

So its been 2 hours since his last feed so I give him his bottle. Happy and content he sucks and drinks and starts dozing off. I then remove the bottle from mouth and it's like You removed a cork froma bottle, out comes nearly the full feed. Of course he then needs a change of clothes,

So I pull his top off and the little bugger immediately falls asleep in the position in the photo, not even 5 SECONDS after the throwing up.

DISCLAIMER: no.. I do not DOPE him.. lol.. he really is THAT relaxed..

Some Kai Videos

2008-10-10T02:55:00.000-07:00

The Accident

2008-10-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

So I thought I'd tell everyone exactly what happened with the accident.

Day 5, Kai woke for his normal early morning feed, Nana came to sit with us and I asked her to bring some hot water with, to heat Kai's bottle.

I had been heating his bottles in a plastic jug made from plastic that could be used for hot liquids that we had used for numerous hot liquids in the kitchen.

So I had moved Kai out of the way, because I was working with boiling water and did not want accidents to happen. (obviously) I had put the jug on my knee ontop of the duvet and blanket and poured in the hot water from the flask, when we heard a huge crack and looked down to see the jug had cracked nearly in half the boiling water heading directly for my leg and thigh under it. We were trying to get the water mopped up when Kai started crying and we realized that somehow the hot water had gotten from me to him. Without trying to figure out HOW it got to him Nana lifted him and we dashed into the bathroom and started pouring cold water over the leg with a bowl, then as he stopped crying we looked at the leg and could see the skin starting to "split" and realized a trip to ER was in order.

He stopped crying the minute I put a bottle into his mouth, carefully wrapping him in a soft blanket being careful to not apply any sort of pressure to the burn we drove off to the hospital. At the hospital, we were met at the door by the nurse. The doctor came to have a look at it while the nurse took his heart rate and BP readings, which she had to do twice, just to check that they were right. He had not increased his heart rate of blood pressure at all and was showing no signs of trauma or shock, if it was not for the visable burn on his leg you would not be able to tell there was an accident at all.

They applied a burnshield dressing to the leg and told me to come back later to have it changed to a flamizene dressing.

The diagnosis, a 1st degree burn that would blister and badly. When we went back at 3 the afternoon to have the bandage changed the skin had blistered leaving 3 huge blisters, 1 on the calf, 1 on the ankle and 1 on the foot all filled with yellow liquid which the doctor then told us was good, because the liquid in the blister would allow the skin to heal under it. The Doctor then said it was downgraded from 1st degree burns to just bad surface burns and we would need to come back once a day for a week to have the dressings changed, then I could change the dressings at home. Still Kai showed no reaction to the burn, no pain, no discomfort nothing.

The next day we saw a different doctor at the er for the dressing change, 2 of the blisters had popped and he suggested as there was one area of his ankle showed a deeper burn, that we see a plastic surgeon. As Kai should be with a doctor that specialized in something like this and would give the best care.

So the Wednesday we went off to see the plastic surgeon. The burn got upgraded to 2nd degree burns with one area (on his ankle) showing much more damage, which was obviously where the water had dripped onto his leg. He suggested Acticoat dressing, the most expensive at R1000 per sheet but also the best. So no question the acticoat dressing it was. Still Kai showed no discomfort or pain and handling the leg and applying to dressings did not upset him, aside from the coldness as the acticoat dressing is made from silver and needs to be kept wet for the active parts to do its thing.

We were due back to the Doc on tuesday to change the dressing and see how and if it had healed and we would make a decision then as to whether the burn needed surgery to remove the dead skin and do some skin grafting.

On Tuesday they started cutting off the bandage which did not even wake Kai from his nap, and slowly removed the bandage as we all held our breath. The burn has started to heal, to the amazement of everyone including the doctor. The top burn and the burn on the foot has started drying out and will peel to reveal new skin underneath it. the only area that was still looking a little bad was the deep burn on the ankle which will take longer to heal. There is a very slight chance of scarring on that section alone, which I am completely grateful that it is not a larger area that was more severly damaged.

The acticoat dressing stays on for a good while, being changed every 3 days at home with new acticoat dressing and bandages applied. The wound care nurse comes and sees us at home on the 17th to check how it is healing and then we need to head back to the doctor in November so he can see how things are getting on.

The section on his ankle is probably the one spot that will open to a wound which then has to be cared for carefully to prevent infection but at the moment things are still healing that we do not have to worry about that yet.

So we sat that afternoon of the accident discussing how things actually happened. The duvet was hanging over Kai's leg, only about 5/10cm of duvet and as the jug cracked the duvet absorbed the boiling liquid which then transported it to over Kai's leg and dripped onto his leg. Circumstances that we could probably recreate if we tried. As my father says, the swiss cheese theory, all the holes lined up perfectly to create a very freak accident.

Getting the bandage changed on Tuesday the 7th, with the Doctor and the wound care nurse.

This shows perfectly how Kai is not in pain and not bothered by the bandage. This was last week before the trip to the Plastic Surgeon when he had the heavier bandage on. He now has a very light bandage on which allows us to bath him aswell.

Innoculations.....

2008-10-09T06:31:00.000-07:00

... are not fun.

Kai had his birth innoculations yesterday, polio drops and an injection to prevent meningitis. By last night he was just plain unhappy, his arm was sensitive to the touch and he was just OFF. He spent a good while crying before just knocking out from exhaustion.

By 1am he had had enough and cried for a good 1.5 hours solid, not fun when mommy has tried every position to get him back to sleep. Nana eventually came to help out at about 2.30am and within 5 minutes he was asleep, definately not great for mommy's ego. But at least he went back to sleep, which I was more grateful for.

Last night he slept 4 hours between feeds, which is great.

Pretty in Blue

2008-10-09T04:18:00.000-07:00

Just to prove he DOES cry!!

TWO WEEKS old!!

2008-10-08T05:26:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it, my baby bear is 2 weeks old and we had a trip to the midwife for his first innoculations. He weighs 4.54kgs so gained a full 300g and did NOT like the injection at all, but settled down quickly.

He has a slight cold, not sure where he picked it up from, but is a little phlegmy so we giving tissue salts for that but otherwise he is doing well :)

2 weeks details

He is starting to smile, albeit major gassy, which stinks to high hell, seriously Im beginning to wonder what he is eating/drinking .. lol

He kicks hard enough to move himself, so has to be watched constantly and can wriggle down something or wriggle up it while lying on his back.

He is holding his head up for longer stretches and when placed on his tummy can lift his head and turn it in a direction and lay it down again.

He LOVES baths and hate being naked or cold and HATES a wet nappy.

Mommy is feeling more human aswell, thankfully, albeit really tired but that I can cope with, most of the time
Pics...

With Sister Jenny, our midwife.

And just to show how relaxed and chilled he is with his bandage and leg. JUST to show he isnt in physical pain.

Pics pics and more pics...

2008-10-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

So here are ALOT of new pics.

First meeting between Poppa and Kai..
Check the expression on my dads face

Relaxing watching TV ...
This is basically a good shot of how relaxed Kai is..
And another...

Sleeping in his FAV position on Poppa's knees...

A few macro shots...

Week one update

2008-10-02T01:24:00.000-07:00

We are doing well, despite the accident things are actually going really well. Yesterday was a bit hairy, he was extremely niggly and fed every hour, posseted ALOT which of course then means he is hungry again, slept badly and cried, which then of course the minute he cries Indi figures someone is hurting the baby and just generally causes mayhem, the glories of pets AND a baby.

I was worried last night was going to be difficult but he pulled out his wonderful relaxed personality and slept 3-3.5 hours, fed and went back to sleep.He needed a little more cuddling than usual but otherwise settled down wonderfully. It was only around the 5am feed that he didn't want to be put down and fell asleep on his tummy on my chest, I then moved him about an hour later.

Otherwise the week has been good, he has settled into the house like a dream and I can't believe he has only been here a week. I sit and think back and he is exactly what was missing in my life.

Nana and Poppa are besotted, its amazing to see, he turns his head to look for their voices and will spend ages just staring at them, absolutely fascinated by both of them.

week one milestones...
Cord fell off on day 3
Belly button healed by day 5
He lifted his head on day 3 he was completely exhausted afterwards hehe
We've had a few gassy smiles and some definite lip quivering, both of which melts your heart

All in all, he is a VERY relaxed baby and has moved from being a newborn to being a baby boy SO quickly it is amazing.

Then the me update.

Im doing ok. Physically feeling a little better, the tears have started rehealing after the tearing on monday. My belly is still swollen and very tender but not to bad. Breasts, my milk came in on day 3, all of 30-50mls per feed time. Definately not enough to keep my big boy satisfied. So he is getting basically 2/3 breastmilk bottles per day and the rest is formula.
1 week and I am 13.5kgs down already and dropping about a kg a day.

I am still extremely tired, but coping. My appetite has still not come back, so finding it hard to actually eat a decent sized meal, which prob accounts for the weightloss aswell. I seem to be just off food at the moment.

Body is still sore, arms, back, legs etc and still very shakey at times and I am getting cold VERY quickly.

1 week old

2008-10-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

Birth Story

2008-09-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

So wednesday arrived with me hoping and praying that it would be the day, by that time I was on day 5 of contractions, swaying between 2/3 minutes apart then jumping back to 20 minutes apart. Little to no sleep and honestly I could feel myself wearing down. I was petrified it was going to take another few days and I just wouldnt have the energy left to actually give birth.

By 9/10am the contractions seemed to be a steady 8 minutes apart and stayed that way till the Mw arrived at 11, did an internal found the cervix thinned to just under 1cm so we made the decision to break the waters and hope it moved the contractions along. MW's opinion is that the water that Kai had blocked between his head and the cervix was keeping things from moving along.

So she broke the waters, warm gush and all that. Water was clear so we did not need to worry about Kai being in distress. She was going to stay for about an hour to make sure things were moving in the right direction. We all went to go sit in the lounge and chat, when I stood up to go to the loo, the water just came out with one major gush and from that point onwards the labour started progressing very fast.I came downstairs, went to the loo and let the waters leak out put on another pad, when that one soaked through followed by another 5, I figured the toilet was probably a really good place to be sitting for a while.

It was here that the contractions started getting alot stronger and alot closer together, by 12.30 they were coming about 1 minute apart and severe enough to have to seriously breath through. I had my mom sitting with me, amazing really how small things seem unimportant at that point, like not liking people seeing me on the loo. We chatted about everything and nonsense, would stop during a contraction then carry on. Indi was still sitting on my shoulder through most of the contractions on the toilet. Zaza sitting on his cage chattering and calling out to me every often.

Mom and MW started putting bath water in around 2ish/3ish, and I sms'd Natacha, that she might wanted to start coming around. By 4 o clock Mw suggested moving to the bath, as the pain in my lower back was really starting to get major.

Once in the bath the contractions got stronger but the hot water was easing things so I could handle them. Mw checked once I was in the bath at around 4.30 I had progressed to 7 cms. I tried every position to get some relief, spiraling, swaying my hips, sitting forward sitting back, labour while lying on your back is soooo much more painful so I tried to be as upright as the contractions allowed.

By 7ish, I suddenly had what I would call a outer body experience, everything suddenly seemed very dreamlike, I was seeing spots, could see everyone clearly, but was like there was a veil dropped over everything, which will prob take me a few days to work through to figure out. I think this is the period that scared mom and natacha, as they both wore identical panic expressions. I was suddenly heavy, my limbs just felt like lead I couldnt move as easily and I think I actually dropped my arms into the water a few times when I attempted to change position.

Oddly for the 45 minutes or so I was like that the contractions were the most severe but the most managable.

I then needed to go to the bathroom my stomach suddenly needed to work, talk about great timing. While on the toilet things got REALLY bad, literally felt like I was being ripped in two. When I headed back to the bath, JUST got there and needed the loo again when MW stopped me and told me it wasnt my stomach it was the baby pressing down and no more loo for me. had me leaning on the bath and basically what needed to come out would have to, once again amazing what you dont care about at that point.

I moved bath into the bath at about 8 and then started having bearing down feelings. By this time I was screaming blue murder through each contraction, even though I had PROMISED myself I wouldnt. What the neighbours thought, heavens will only know.

The last pushing and crowning happened from about 8.11, Mw told me I needed to stop vocalizing at that point because I was wasting energy that needed to go inward instead of outward, which of course made perfect sense, so I closed my mouth and during each contraction I bore down, feeling which muscles to use at which time, which he then started crowning I could suddenly FEEL him and the burning sensation that went with it,MW during one of the contractions had to move the rest of the cervix out of the way of his head so he could move further.It took 3 sets of 3 contractions to push his head through the canal, one the last contraction as his head came out MW stopped me to check him I assume, then quite urgently said I needed to stand up to deliver the rest of him. I was helped into a standing poisition and when I came out of the water he started crying and I could feel the MW was struggling with his one shoulder and then suddenly he just slid out with ALOT of blood after him.

Things got a little frantic at that point, MW had to clip the cord and cut him because she didnt know if the bleeding was from the cord or the placenta rupturing, so she handed him to mom to hold, then had to get me out the bath, details get a little hazy here, Im not sure if she checked me first then cleaned him up and came to show him to me, or whether she showed him first but I saw him and couldnt believe he was here.

I had to lie on the floor for her to check me out and to deliver the placenta which came out with a simple plop within minutes, she checked me and said I had one tear that was not too bad that she wasnt going to stitch. I was still bleeding badly, but it was starting to "ease" I was then helped into a bath while she checked Kai again and did all the necessary stuff, measuring and weighing. She came in to tell me he was 4.2kgs, unbelievably. Doc estimated 4.1kgs at 41 weeks, at the MOST.

So I got exactly what I wanted, a home water birth and unmedicated. It still has not hit home that I did it, but I will admit it was sore as hell but even now the memory of HOW sore it was exactly is starting to fade very quickly, would I repeat it RIGHT now, pain wise no, getting to look down and watch my son being born, in a heartbeat, a definite heart beat!!!

First bath...

2008-09-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Introducing Kai Roderick Warren

2008-09-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

Kai Roderick Warren born on the 24th of September 2008, at 8.30PM. Weighing in at 4.2kgs/9.24lbs, 54cms long and scored 9 on both his APGAR tests.

Thursday 25th

Ok so the update.. ill sit and type up the birth story when i get a chance...

Kai is doing beautifully, he has had some tummy issues, had alot of mucous in his tummy that he kept bringing up, but just wasnt getting it all out.

Midwife came round this morning and did a tummy wash.. basically suctioning the gunk out and rinsing it with sterile water and then suctioning the water out, which he then managed to feed, woot!

We still not managed to BF yet, he is getting a little bit of colustrum out, but not enough to satisfy, so we are doing top up feeds using a syringe till I decide what to do.

Im going to give the bf a while, keep at it and see, but as the family history regarding BF sucks.. im not going to beat myself up if I cant BF, so he has had 2 mixed feeds today.

He is sleeping like a trooper, happily self soothing with his hands needs a pat or two once he is moaning to settle again and the "ultimate sleep positioner" is FANTASTIC. I turn the heart beat gadget on and he settles straight away, he has the SADDEST cry and can manage to get his bottom lip shivering just perfectly to make the world seem like a terrible place.

Im doing ok.. sore.. I have 2 tears, neither was big enough to need stitches..

happy.. content... and he is just perfect

40 weeks update

2008-09-19T02:01:00.000-07:00

You are definitely considered full-term now and you are probably anticipating the arrival of your newborn. The crown-to-rump length of your baby is around 15 inches and your baby is now about 21.5 inches long total. Your baby weighs about 7.5 pounds and your uterus is about 8 inches above the top of your bellybutton.

Your official due date will be sometime this week and you probably have a prenatal check up this week to check for labor progress. Try to stay calm while you are waiting for labor to begin. You should have all of your bags packed and ready to go and your birth plan should be in place. Your labor coach should know what your wishes are and you should be able to get in touch with your labor coach at all times. Use false labor contractions to practice breathing and relaxation techniques that you will use during the actual labor itself.

Your baby continues to move further down the birth canal and this is measured in stations. Station describes the degree to which the presenting part of the baby has descended into the birth canal. The 0 point is a bone landmark in the pelvis, the starting point of the birth canal. If your baby's head is at a -2 station, it means the head is higher inside of you than if your baby were at a +2 station.

After your baby is born, she will be weighed and measured. Your baby may cry loudly or she may be dazed from medications. The doctor will suction your baby's mouth and throat with an aspirator. The nurses will dry her off and place a hat on her head to help keep her warm. Security tags will be placed around her arms and ankles and your baby will be swaddled in a blanket. You will be given the chance to hold your baby right after you have delivered. Shortly after, the nurses generally take the baby to the nursery for a bath and other routine procedures.
Your baby will be given Apgar scores according to her condition at 1 and 5 minutes of birth. A total of 10 points can be scored. A score of 10 is unusual and most babies receive scores of 7, 8 or 9. A baby with a low 1-minute score might need to be resuscitated and usually the 5 minute score is much higher after he has time to adjust to life outside of the uterus.

*Heart rate of baby-If your baby does not have a heart rate a score of 0 is given. If the baby's heart rate is less than 100 bpm, a score of 1 is given. If the heart rate is over 100 bpm, a score of 2 is given.

*Respiratory effort of the baby- If your baby is not breathing, a score of 0 is given. If breathing is slow and irregular, a score of 1 is recorded. If your baby is crying and breathing well, a score of 2 is recorded.

*Baby's muscle tone-If your baby's arms and legs are limp and flabby, the score is 0. If some movement is observed and the arms and legs bend a little, a score of 1 is recorded. A score of 2 is given to babies that are active and moving.

*Reflex irritability of the baby-If your baby does not respond to stimulus, a score of 0 is given. If there is a small reflex when the baby is stimulated, a score of 1 is recorded. If your baby responds vigorously when stimulated, 2 points are given.

*Baby's color- If your baby is blue or pale, a score of 0 is given. A score of 1 is given if your baby's body is pink and the arms and legs are blue. If your baby's entire body is pink, a score of 2 is recorded.

At the time of birth, the baby has a total of 300 bones. Some bones will fuse together later, which is why an adult has only 206 bones.

39 weeks (top) vs 40 weeks (bottom) I'm losing weight and becoming more "compact"

Eviction Notice

2008-09-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Tenant

I am issuing 7 day notice for EVICTION.

Tenant will have 7 days in which she/he can either gather his/her belongings and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until the final day. After which, she will be physically removed from the property.

He's/ She's being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made!

Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper AND lower levels of the home. On top of which, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances.

After 7 days from this day that he/she doesn't comply with the notice will result in immediate and forceful removal at my discretion.

Love
Mommy

Macro pics

2008-09-12T02:47:00.000-07:00

So went for a walk on a mission to "love my lens", the lens in this instance being the Tamron 70-300mm Tele-Macro. Wanting to get the hang of the macro option on it.

Here are some images, all straight out of camera (SOOC) aside from borders and one or two crops.

Love the detail on the dew drops.

My fav two shots!!

39 weeks!

2008-09-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

Fetal development - 39 weeks pregnant

The average baby is about 20.5 inches / 51 centimetres long from head to toe and weighs approximately 7.5 pounds / 3.4 kilograms at birth, but anywhere between 5 pounds 11.5 ounces and 8 pounds 5.75 ounces / 2.5 and 3.8 kilograms is a healthy range for newborns.

Your amniotic fluid, once clear, is now pale and milky from your baby's shedding vernix caseosa. The outer layers of skin are also sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

In TV soaps, labour always begins with the waters breaking -- in the middle of a crowded room, of course -- just before contractions start. If you've been worrying that this scenario will happen to you, you can stop. Membranes rupture in less than 15 per cent of pregnancies and when it does happen, the baby's head tends to act like a cork at the opening of the uterus. (If you lie down, however, you may notice fluid leaking.) You should stay calm -- it may be hours before you feel your first contraction -- and call your doctor or midwife right away. Your body will produce more amniotic fluid until the baby is born, so your carers may suggest you wait at home until contractions are under way or may suggest an induction.

You are probably as big as you are going to get and may be uncomfortable now. Most women gain between 25 and 35 pounds during their pregnancy. Your uterus is about 7-8 inches above your bellybutton now.

Although your baby continues to grow and develop inside of your uterus, there is not much room for him to move about. All of your baby's organ systems are now complete and the lungs were the last to fully mature.

If you are uncomfortable with your pregnancy at this time, you are not alone. Most women are ready to deliver their babies. It would be very unusual for you to not be uncomfortable at this time. Your uterus has grown a lot and now fills your entire pelvis and abdomen. Try not to ask your doctor to induce you, unless it is medically necessary. Your cervix is ripening in preparation for delivery and your bladder is under a lot of pressure.

You may feel nervous about the upcoming labor. You will know when you are in labor because contractions will get worse when you move around and they will also get stronger and more frequent. Other signs of labor are the breaking of your water or a bloody show as the mucus that plugged your cervix becomes dislodged.

Most of the lanugo on your baby should be gone by now. Your baby still may have some on his shoulders and in the creases of his body. Your baby's toenails have reached the end of his toes. The umbilical cord is about a half inch thick and may be wrapped around him. The umbilical cord still supplies the baby with nutrients that he needs. After delivery, your baby's umbilical cord will be clamped and cut. After it is cut, he will be an independent human being and must perform all of his body functions on his own. Your baby will get antibodies from your body that give his immune system a boost.

How your life's changing

Do you feel that time has flown since the beginning of your pregnancy? Then be prepared: these last few days will probably feel longer than the last nine months. Most doctors and midwives will wait 10-14 days after your due date before considering your baby overdue and inducing labour. In the meantime, you and your partner might try relieving the tension with a little love-making - sex has been known to get labour started. If it doesn't, your midwife or doctor may offer a membrane sweep to try to get labour started naturally. If this is your first baby, your labour may be long and slow, but there are ways to speed things up both naturally and by intervention from your midwife or doctor.

Me

I am doing well, big heavy and uncomfy, but otherwise nothing really worth complaining about. Going for walks now and keeping myself as busy as possible, studying, going for coffee or short shopping trips, getting people to stare and ask if I should really be out. You know that kind of thing.

Baby has quietened down alot, but is still resonably active, still kicking me silly. Another Midwife visit next week and another doc visit the week after if baby has not made an appearance yet.

First Assignment

2008-09-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

My first assignment which was based on techincal information, no creative flair needed got marked and I received an eight out a ten.

Which leaves me majorly chuffed. I keep thinking where I lost the other 2 points but I am THRILLED with eight :D

Next assignment in for marking. I cannot wait, I am loving this completely!!!

My Photography start..

2008-09-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

I thought I would give a little background information as to how this came about. Yes it is long but DO bear with me. :)

Since I can remember I have always been fascinated by cameras and photos but growing up I will admit my fascination did not result in anything worthwhile, in fact I ended up chopping more than one head off in those that I did take but the fascination never went away.

Family refused me access to their cameras because film and me screwing up photos was an expensive lesson to them. So I never really had the opportunity to explore the world of photography.

During school, my creative flair, needing an outlet turned toward the art class, where I did very well. Having said that though, I will happily admit that if you give me a picture I can draw it and quite possibly paint it but I simply do not have the talent or the "vision" to get what I see in my mind down onto the paper.

Skip a few years, a move to a different country and my Xmas "list" in 2001 consisted of, you guessed it a camera but a "PROPER" camera. I did not want any old point and shoot I aimed high for a Canon SLR, known as the Rebel 2000. A film camera that had different modes and settings that I could use.

Even then, not knowing any better I left it in Auto and simply shot to my heart’s content, anything and everything. I had some success, even if I admit so myself. Two photographs got chosen to be published in a "coffee table" book. Basically a book with pretty pictures to amuse people while drinking coffee. I also took photographs for a wedding that was held in the area, which being the ONLY person with a camera made me VERY nervous but as far as wedding photos go, they turned out pretty well. I placed them in an album and the couple was thrilled with the quality. Yay!

I was also aupairing at the time and took numerous photos of the little girl I was looking after which started the very tentative budding of interest in portraiture but still landscapes, nature photos and everything around me, kept me in awe.

Fast forward a good couple of years and many different things grabbed my interest, I am not exactly known for my long attention span in creative activities. I kept looking for that ONE thing that would match the pictures I had in my head.

Then in 2007 I decided to turn back to photography and digital. I owned a little point and shoot digital camera, nothing fancy and wanted to get serious. So I got the money together, ironically around Christmas time again and bought my FIRST DSLR. A Canon 30D. It arrived and it was love at first sight. Coupled with Photoshop CS3 I had FINALLY found an outlet for that creative side I was so desperately looking for.

I spent the next month, taking photos of family, the views and everything else but January came and the family had to go home a 2 hour flight away and I lost my "models". Then later on in January I found out I was pregnant. Honestly a complete and utter shock which promptly turned my world upside down. Now things like baby clothes, nappies and which cot design to pick took front row.

Through it all, surprisingly I kept taking photos of everything using my DSLR. Including weekly photo's of my belly as I grew bigger and realized that my dream of furthering my photography did not HAVE to take a back seat to my pregnancy and becoming a mom. I could combine it, not only that, I could photograph my child and have memories of the amazing times.

After allot of thought, I realized that I simply did not know enough about the technical side of photography to be able to take consistently good photos. I was very much a "dumb luck" photographer, relying on pure dumb luck to get a good photo and enough knowledge of Photoshop to "save" a bad photo and that simply was not how I wanted to progress.

I want to know the why and how behind those great photographs you see and know what there is to know about my camera and photography gear to get to a point of knowing how to work it to get the photos I see in my head. Then add Photoshop to get the creative and artistic "bump" to match the pictures I have always carried around in my mind.

So, I joined an online course which will teach me those basics and a blog is a wonderful way to not only share those with others but also visually have a place where I can see my own work and my own progression, as no-one is a harsher critic of my work than I am.

So thank you for taking the time to read this far and for joining me on the journey.
*mwah*